I keep going back and looking at Syd. I am in awe of her commitment. Doesn't she look fab?!

I wish I could find whatever inspired her in me.

I keep getting lots of searches for something I don't have here, but googlism culls it together and makes it look like I do. So, for the record, it's David John Matthews.

The salsa dance class was loads of fun.

It really is an aerobics class set to salsa music, but it was great to get out there and shake my bon-bon!

I was a little worried at first. The class is through a local ISD continuing ed program and is at a women's fitness center. Which is one big room. Everything is mixed together. Weights, treadmills, etc... in one big room. With most everything facing the aerobics floor.

Once we got started though, the watching eyes weren't even noticable. It helped once I figured out some of the steps (oh, he's doing a grapevine) . . . but not all of them!

Most of the attendees were older than me. Which took a lot of the pressure off. And 90% of us had absolutely no coordination at all. We just hooted and hollered and clapped.

It was fun enough to make me think about looking for more classes like this to sneak some exercise into my life!

I'm blind with out some sort of visual aide. I mention this now because I am typing with my face about six inches from the keyboard. I'm in between switching from glasses to contacts.

I start my salsa dance class for women tonight and don't want to fling my glasses off with some spin, twist thing.

I called this morning to ask what shoes to wear. They recommended regular athletic shoes. Which worries me. I'm not so graceful as it is, let alone with the added distraction of five pound shoes in the mix.

I would have waited.

awe. some.

Tonight's the night. We girls will be at Kelly's house. Eating. Drinking. Gasping.

As I was hugging one of the children at the shelter this morning I thought, Every child I touch here gets a little piece of my heart. Luckily, that only seems to make it bigger.

Someone converted my site to German today. Looked pretty cool.

31.25 %

My weblog owns 31.25 % of me.
Does your weblog own you?

Personal blogs are famous for breaking usual standards of disclosure, revealing details considered by some to be very private.

Plain Layne. Wow.

I laid in bed awake for a long time last night. Usually I pass out pretty quickly and start snoring immediately. At least, that's what I'm told.

Anyhoo. It was probably the nap I took when I got home that was the issue, but it was interesting because I caught myself doing something I had no idea I do.

It's a learned thing. From an ex. The first night he did it, I was like what are you doing??

He explained that when he was a kid, his sisters would help put him to bed and to do so, they would jiggle the bed. His version was to thump the bed with his foot. It caused almost the same effect.

So that's was I was doing when I caught myself. Thumping the bed with my foot in an attempt to put myself to sleep. Weird.

Oh, did I mention that I can't find my camera? Yes, my relatively new digital camera. I know it made it home from Boston, but now I can't find it.

Yeah! What she said!

Every once in a while, this article pops back up and I start getting e-mail from gay men.

I'm a girl, dammit.

I got a big zing at work this week.

We have this group called the Quarter Century Club for employees who have been with the company 25 years or more. They have an annual dinner for the members.

The other day, one of the new inductees was in my area, so I congratulated her. It went down-hill from there . . .

Lita [to me]: Did you go to the dinner last night?

Gloria: No, it's for members only.

Lita [to me]: Aren't you a member?

Me: Whaaaa?

Lita: I mean it seems like you've been here a long time.

Me [mouth hanging open]: Whaaa?

Gloria: No, she hasn't been here that long.

Me [mouth hanging open]: Whaaa?

Lita: Well, how old are you?

Me [indignantly]: 38!

Lita: Well, I didn't mean to imply you looked older than you are.

Me: I've only been here 11 years.

Lita: Well, it seems longer.

Tell me about it.

My friend Michele picked up a guy for me at the grand opening of Pat O'Brien's this week. She asked me if I'd like to meet him for a drink, so I said sure. I mean, what the hell, right?

So today she sends me her e-mail to him with his agreement to meet us. She wrote that I would "love" to meet him. Love to? Ugh. That turned my stomach and now I don't wanna go.

Yes, I know Mr. Right is never going to just show up on my doorstep and that I need to make some effort to meet a guy, but man, I'm a chicken.

I finished A Map of the World last night. I didn't like it so much. Maybe because of my volunteer work at the children's shelter.

I hit Half Price books tonight. I took my amazon wish list, but they didn't have one single title that I wanted, so I came home with a couple books and a magazine, including Girls' Poker Night.

I've been charging all my book purchases this year to track how much I spend. I need to do better and follow Kat's lead by renewing my library card.

I can tell Cory is feeling better. She's started biting again.

I've been having problems with my dial-up lately. heh. I just made a bunch of you shudder, didn't I? It's not that I'm cheap, but the going rate around here is about 45 bucks a month. I know I spend a lot of time on the Internet, but I don't know if I spend 45 dollars worth.

[later] I just added it up. I average 30 hours a month online. If I switched over, that would make it more than a dollar per hour, instead of the 10.95 monthly I pay now.

*sigh*

Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted. -- John Lennon

BlogPulse - Automated Trend Discovery for Weblogs

Yep. That Coupling is as bad as the critics said. I've stopped watching and have a few minutes before ER.

Cory is still limping, but I can tell she's starting to feel more like her old self. She has started sleeping with me, and that's new (and nice). Now, if I could only get her to stop licking my face at 3 a.m.

Last week I talked about my therapist about the writing thing. I told her I didn't know what it was yet and she said, "That's ok because you've just started the contemplation phase."

Which is not actually true. I've thought about the writing thing for a long time. But in an I could never do that kind of way.

I don't even know how to begin thinking fiction. I only know how to write about what I know. I can do that. There are a multitude of subjects to draw from. Aging parents. Fatherless daughters. Depression. Living the single life.

Sometimes I think I should just start writing and see what comes.

I've been watching season premieres. Can you tell?

How to stop people from bugging you about getting married
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

I've been thinking a lot lately about writing. Not this kind of writing, but an article for a magazine or something.

You know how it feels when you have something inside of you itching to get out? Yet, you're not sure exactly what it is? I don't think it's fiction. I think it's me. Something in my life that needs to be shared. Something that only I can tell.

In my mind, I work together words into sentences into phrases and paragraphs. But I never put them down on paper.

They say the first sentence has to be the hook to keep 'em reading. I keep thinking of something like this:

I used to be the most normal person I knew.

We're home from the vet. They gave her a shot of antibiotic and some more pain meds (for then and later). She did not like being there at all. When I opened the door of her carrier, she jumped right in.

Me? I am going to try not to nap. : )

I'm home from playing tourist. Cory's not feeling so well. She keeps looking at me with a pathetic face that says, "This hurts mom, why can't you fix it?"

We're going to see the vet at 2:20 p.m.

My cousin Mike is in town, so I'm going to play hooky from school work and play tourist with him tomorrow. We had a nice afternoon/evening today, so it'll be nice to spend more time with him. It's his first trip to San Antonio.

Cory is favoring one foot. And it seems a little warm to me. I'm worried about that and will keep an eye on it.

I'm trying to eat healthier. The only problem I'm having is farting. No, really. Damn that fiber.

Cory is doing better today. Thankfully they sent home three days worth of pain meds for her. Even better, they are in a liquid form. Ever try stuff in a pill down a cat's throat? It can get ugly, fast.

Damn. And some of you thought my questions were hard!

A riddle from my friend Elizabeth:

This is going to make you so MAD! There are three words in the English language that end in "gry". ONE is angry and the other is hungry.. EveryONE knows what the third ONE means and what it stands for. EveryONE uses them everyday, and if you listened very carefully, I've given you the third word. What is it? _______gry?

Guesses, anyone?

Cory made a leap for the bed earlier. She didn't make it. Owie.

Check out this wedding site for Courtney & Lane (I say that like I know them, but I don't). Don't miss the day-of picnic or that the wedding is at 9 p.m., followed by dessert and dancing. And that their friends designed all the invites. Cool.

Oofh. She is so mad, she is sitting with her back to me.

I have seen the evil eye from my cat and it ain't pretty.

I took Cory in for the snip-snip, clip-clip yesterday. She had to spend the night, so I am going to pick her up in a while.

They make you sign this form about extra tests they can run (feline leukemia, etc...). It includes a question like, "For fifteen bucks, would you like your pet to receive a shot for pain post surgery?"

What a cruel, cruel question.

First of all, I truly live in the inner city. Most folks going to my vet are on a budget. And getting their pet spayed or neutered is way beyond the norms of making sure there's food on the table. That fifteen bucks was not expected by me and may throw some past what they planned for.

Second, who wants to be known as the "No, make 'em suffer" owner??

I am going to a Halloween party this year and costumes are required. I think the last time I wore a costume was when I won a prize in eighth grade as a clown.


Anyone want to be the plug to my socket???

Here are my Interview Game questions from Jane:

1. What is your favourite children's book (little kids, like Dr. Seuss or older kids, like Little House)? I was a voracious reader as a child too. I loved the Little House series, Trixie Beldon, Judy Blume and others, but my all-time favorite book growing up was Mandy by Julie Andrews Edwards. I was enthralled by the secret cottage and her prince charming.
   
2. How do you sleep (back, side, toss & turn)? I sleep on my back.
   
3. How many times, on average, do you hit the snooze button? Probably five or six times (about an hour).
   
4. Do you own a lava lamp/glitter lamp/etc.? No. I'm so uncool.
   
5. Have you ever heard of Kasim Sulton? No.

Fun! Thanks, Jane!

A four-year-old heroine. What a brave, brave girl.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners:

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease (this one got extra credit).

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an @sshole.

I finished The Bad Beginning in nothing flat. I borrowed it from Gina because I'd read that it would make due for Harry in a crunch. It's doesn't.

I'm moving on to Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West. I had it on my wish list and Sandy let me borrow hers. She said she didn't finish it because it got weirdly sexual. I'll let you know.

Shock. One of my friends had a heart attack yesterday. Three blocked arteries. They put in stints. She'll go home tomorrow. She is 42.

It was so good, I had to watch it again tonight. ok, I confess. It made me cry. Again.

Jimbo is so funny: I guess size DOES matter afterall.

I receive a weekly newsletter from Cheryl Richardson. I think this week's Topic of the Week is worth sharing …

~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Since the attack, I also see 9/11 as a "Life Reflection" anniversary – a reminder to reassess my own life to make sure that I'm walking my talk by living a life that honors my soul and my loved ones. I invite you to do the same. This week I thought I'd share an excerpt from last year's newsletter that contained the questions that I use for this special anniversary. Please honor your life (and the lives of your loved ones) by answering them as honestly as you can. In that way, the answers provide you with a measurement of how well you're living your life.

~*~ Am I spending my precious time on what matters most?
~*~ Is there a nagging inner voice that keeps reminding me of a change that I really want or need to make? If so, what is it?
~*~ How can I begin to make this change in my life?
~*~ Am I spending enough time with the people who are most important to me?
~*~ How am I being of service to others?
~*~ Do I feel good about where I'm putting my energy and creative talents?
~*~ Am I expressing my full potential?

I'm sure that some of you will find that in answering these questions you have in fact made changes that have allowed you to honor your priorities in a deeper, more meaningful way. Please acknowledge your commitment to doing so. For others, it may be time to make a move.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~
That's totally how I've felt in the last week or so. Finding that the anniversary has made me reflect on my own life. I've been successful with many of the changes I wanted to make in my life since 2001. But many more are lacking. I'm definitely one of those that needs to make more changes in my life.

I had a great belly laugh this morning. Just moments ago, someone hit my site looking for "Odds of a nerd getting married."

Guess that's me!!

The season finale of Sex in the City was simply perfection.

Steve and Miranda! Steve and Miranda! Whee!!

I finished Why Girls are Weird earlier this week. I loved it. Really, I did.

The blogging. The truth. The lies. The fan mail. (Bloggers get fan mail? Really? Wow.) The online relationships. The real-life relationships. Being in Austin. The fans she meets in the person. Finding love.

It's blogger ChickLit in all the right places.

Apparently, ABC is in a quandary over what to do about 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter since John Ritter unexpectedly passed away.

Death of Actor Is Forcing ABC to Reconsider Fate of His Show [NYTimes, free registration required]

Without Star John Ritter, ABC Wonders if His Show Can Go On

Options include replacing him, killing off the character or ending the show. I watched the show and liked it. I don't know how they could replace or kill him without alienating fans. The show was about the dad and his relationship with his kids. And the dad was John Ritter.

I know it puts people out of work, but they need end the show.

Today I bought a "real" ironing board to go with the cool iron I got for my birthday. Sure, you're thinking, "Iron? For your birthday?" But I love it!

Sunday Brunch: CRANK IT UP!

1. What kind of music do you listen to most often? Um, adult contemporary?
   
2. Do you sing outloud in front of people? Sometimes. The last time was in Providence, watching Alanis on the Today Show Concert Series. What a fab do, girl!
   
3. How big is your CD/music collection? Miniscule.
   
4. When you are with your spouse or significant other, do you listen to what you like or what they like? n/a *sigh*
   
5. Do you like to listen to your favorite music loud? Almost always when I'm alone.

It's hard to really find the music I like here in town. There are Austin radio stations I like way better.

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Wedding :: Bells
   
2. Roach :: Dead
   
3. Expense :: Paid
   
4. Fight :: For Your Right ... To Party!
   
5. Air :: Breathe
   
6. Protect :: Me
   
7. Glance :: Around
   
8. Boo :: Kitty
   
9. Steamy :: Seductive
   
10. Caviar :: Beluga

Someone wrote, "Well, how was Boston?!" Great!

We did everything on the list (minus the Tea Party Ship), plus more. Lots of walking. Taking the T. Eating great food. Lots and lots of great food. And charming company.

I wished it was warmer. Like 78-80 and sunny, but it was sweater weather for me. The temps in Providence were perfect the two days we were there.

Boston's a beautiful city. We stayed in an easy-access area. The city is so walkable. People were friendly. Neighborhoods very cool. It was what I wanted it to be. Except for the weather. And no allergies!

Finally found a tiny Trader's Joe's. Saw Kirstie Alley waiting for her car. She seemed shocked that we recognized her from the Duck Tourmobile, yet her suburban was this ucky neon lime green.

All in all, it was a great trip. I'd definitely go back.

And the last Interview Game victim is Kate!

1. You have just won an all-expense paid trip for two nights and three days for you and Paul (no girls!). Where do you go? And what do you do there (besides the obvious, that is)?
   
2. What is your favorite BNL song and why?
   
3. You are the new owner of a small business. What is it?
   
4. You have the power to pre-determine careers for Moira and Olivia. What would you choose for them?
   
5. Hilda Santo-Tomas or Kia Steave-Dickerson?

Thanks to Zuly, Jane, Joanie, Lisa and Kate for playing The Interview Game with me!

Why do people blogroll themselves?

You'd think the Blogger/Google folks would've thought to make sure that the Google toolbar would recognize that BlogThis is not a pop-up box.

Eons ago, just before yaccs went out, Lisa volunteered to play The Interview Game. I just noticed that I owe her these:

1. You like classic rock. What are your top five all-time favorite CD's?
   
2. You've met other bloggers in person. How do find the real person compares to their online persona?
   
3. You are selected to be a contestant on Fear Factor. Do you play?
   
4. You are having a dinner party for 10. Whomever you invite must show. Who do you ask and why?
   
5. Are Miss Parker and Jared brother and sister? Or do they finally just get it on?!

I only need one more willing victim ... are you the one?

I was thinking about depression yesterday.

I was thinking, I am in such a great mood. You have to understand, this is pretty different for me. Still.

But it made me think about how difficult it is to explain. How maybe the outside person seems pretty much the same, but the inside person feels so different.

And I thought, how sad it must seem to people for me to admit feeling really happy with my life for the first time ever in just the last year. And I'm 38.

It's not like my life was totally awful all of the time. There was only that time frame near the melt down that was really, really bad. Most of my life everything was ok. But that's all. Just ok.

It was like living life in black and white. Everything was sort of muted. But some things are really great in black and white.

And then, it was like Pleasantville. I went on medication and I started to see patches of color. Then slowly ~ very slowly ~ everything turned technicolor. It's been a pretty amazing process.

The Friday Five:

1. Is the name you have now the same name that's on your birth certificate? If not, what's changed? Yes, my name is the same. However, I am a girl now. Not just A Boy Named Sue.

2. If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be? No. I've pretty much grown into my name. When I was younger I wanted to get married so I could have a new last name, but now I can't imagine it being anything else.

3. Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?) My mom named me after my Godmother's niece and my herself.

4. Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why? I really don't like being called Sue. Or Suzanne. They just grate on my nerves.

5. Is the analysis of your name at kabalarians.com accurate? How or how isn't it?

Your first name of Susan has given you a pleasant, easy-going, friendly nature. Personal contacts are important to you. In situations where you are serving others, demonstrating or instructing, you have the patience to go into details that someone else may not think to be important. In your association with others, you are often limited to the more mundane happenings and little personal problems that can be so frustrating to those of an active, dynamic nature. You desire to create system and order in your environment but are inclined to become side-tracked and socialize when you should be working. Your ambitions are not large, as you lack confidence in your own abilities and would sooner not take a chance. You are often at odds with yourself, knowing what you should do, but finding it hard to find the initiative and will power to do it. Liking to plan and think ahead, you do not act impulsively and do not like to have your plans or routine interfered with. You seek the advice of others when making a decision and prefer to work for others, rather than carry the full responsibility yourself. This name limits imagination and vision.

Um, yes and no. More yes than no.

I used to be the best thank you note writer. In form, message, punctuality. I could make a person cry with a thank you note. I used to be known for my thank you notes. Teased about my timeliness. And then I stopped. I think I got tired of never getting any in return. Sad, but true.

I have completely freaked Cory out. I opened a window. She totally does not know what to think of the cars and people and bird sounds and dogs.

For my newest regular reader, Kristy, an OC blog.

My new driver's license came today. *sigh* I know they're never the greatest of pictures, but man, I look old.

There was the newly wedded couple who have just checked into their hotel room. They were ready to consummate their marriage and the bride has never had sex before, not even with the groom, yet.
So as he undresses, she points and says, "What's that?"
The groom says, "Well that there is my rope."
"And what are those two things?"
"Those, my dear are my knots."
So they are getting ready to do the nasty and she start fumbling around.
"Hey, what are you doing?" The groom asked.
"I'm trying to untie the knots, I need more rope!"

The Names
by Poet Laureate Billy Collins

Yesterday, I lay awake in the palm of the night.
A soft rain stole in, unhelped by any breeze,
And when I saw the silver glaze on the windows,
I started with A, with Ackerman, as it happened,
Then Baxter and Calabro,
Davis and Eberling, names falling into place
As droplets fell through the dark.
Names printed on the ceiling of the night.
Names slipping around a watery bend.
Twenty-six willows on the banks of a stream.
In the morning, I walked out barefoot
Among thousands of flowers
Heavy with dew like the eyes of tears,
And each had a name —
Fiori inscribed on a yellow petal
Then Gonzalez and Han, Ishikawa and Jenkins.
Names written in the air
And stitched into the cloth of the day.
A name under a photograph taped to a mailbox.
Monogram on a torn shirt,
I see you spelled out on storefront windows
And on the bright unfurled awnings of this city.
I say the syllables as I turn a corner —
Kelly and Lee,
Medina, Nardella, and O'Connor.
When I peer into the woods,
I see a thick tangle where letters are hidden
As in a puzzle concocted for children.
Parker and Quigley in the twigs of an ash,
Rizzo, Schubert, Torres, and Upton,
Secrets in the boughs of an ancient maple.
Names written in the pale sky.
Names rising in the updraft amid buildings.
Names silent in stone
Or cried out behind a door.
Names blown over the earth and out to sea.
In the evening — weakening light, the last swallows.
A boy on a lake lifts his oars.
A woman by a window puts a match to a candle,
And the names are outlined on the rose clouds —
Vanacore and Wallace,
(let X stand, if it can, for the ones unfound)
Then Young and Ziminsky, the final jolt of Z.
Names etched on the head of a pin.
One name spanning a bridge, another undergoing a tunnel.
A blue name needled into the skin.
Names of citizens, workers, mothers and fathers,
The bright-eyed daughter, the quick son.
Alphabet of names in a green field.
Names in the small tracks of birds.
Names lifted from a hat
Or balanced on the tip of the tongue.
Names wheeled into the dim warehouse of memory.
So many names, there is barely room on the walls of the heart.

This week has been my continuing ed week. Monday I signed up for eight weeks of salsa dancing, yoga and pilates (MWF).

Just now I signed up for Total Memory Workout, Feng Shui for Your Home and Money Management for Women at Barnes & Noble University.

Fathom is pretty cool too. I was hoping for some free writing courses, but alas all I found free of interest is from AARP: Caring for Aging Parents: Managing the Details.

I just noticed two framed pictures on my dining room table. I don't remember where they were originally. I've had many people in the house today that could have moved them. It just struck me as odd that they are of me and the only two gay people I know.

I met my construction guy at lunchtime to give him the key to my house. And a check for $850. Good thing I already went on vacation.

Yeppers. This gay man does it for me. Sad, but true.

I love the Fab Five. I just wish they'd be gender-neutral and do a Queer Eye for the Straight Girl! I'd love to see the outfits they'd pick for me! That, and my bedroom(s) could use some help.

Damn. Wouldn't you know I just found JournalCon / Web Writers Weekend and registration closed at 11:59 p.m. yesterday?!

Speaking of ChickLit . . .

I am really enjoying Why Girls are Weird. If you are a female blogger, it's a must read (sorry guys, it's true "chick lit").

Author Pamela Ribon, formerly know as Squishy (apparently a very popular blog '98-01), took some time off from her blog to write the book. About blogging.

It hits close to home. Although I don't lie about being romantically involved. Well, I mean, basically I don't lie in my blog. At all. Really.

Sorry.

I've been thinking of the word lately. And what it means to people. Does it lose it's value when people use it all.the.time?

My feet hurt. Oh, I'm sorry. Why? It's not your fault.
Or I had a bad meal.
Or I didn't sleep well.
Or I paid to much for gas.

Why do you tell me you're sorry? It's not your fault. Especially when there are other phrases that could meet the need.

Change your shoes.
Well, send your meal back.
Have you tried melatonin?
That sucks.

Even when someone dies. It's not like you killed them. How about, I'd saddened by your loss.?

I don't get it. Save the I'm sorry's for when you've wronged me.

Bwhahaha! Be consistent. Don't make stupid penalties when you're in the red zone. Erm. Yeah. You have to read the entire post for it to be funny.

Lookit! Comments are back! Yippee!

Cory hates it when I get on the computer. She races me to my chair and jumps in before I get there. She gets tangled in the cords (I suppose in hopes of unplugging me ~ which she has done on occassion). She walks across the keyboard. She gets her claws stuck in the speaker so I have to dig her out. She sits on my mouse. She stomps off when I drop her to the floor. She makes me laugh.

My favorite restaurant opened here while we were in Boston.

I don't know whether to be bummed that it's not on my way home so I can pick-up their yummy take-out on a regular basis or be grateful I can't.

Man Ships Himself From New York to Texas to Save Money

I don't think Lee liked season two of Alias.

Dwayne told me about a travel website that allows you to put in your destination and it comes up with the cheapest flights of all the airlines based on flexible dates. He couldn't remember the website. If you know which one it is, would you shoot me an e-mail?

I have a friend at work and every Monday morning we talk Sex in the City. It turns out we both have a Mr. Big in our past.

During the first few seasons, when the relationship between Carrie and Mr. Big was a major feature, it seemed almost every episode would make me cry. To remember. To see how callously he would treat her. To see her take it and think, but she's a smart girl. Like me.

And then he married. Someone else. And kept her hanging. Holding on. And she let him. I would mentally plead with her to move on. To let go.

My friend sees them as soul mates. She wants them together. I want them apart. She deserves better. It was good to finally see tonight that she thought so too.

My Mr. Big is gone. There will never be another time in my life when I wish. Hers has inexplicably returned. After many years. He is married. So is she. They both have kids. I worry when I hear her talk about him. I expect tonight's episode made her cry. I hope it was for the right reasons. Because life is too short.

Tired. Yep. I just rolled out of bed at 12:43 p.m.

I really didn't stay up that late last night ~ maybe 11:30p because I was reading Why Girls are Weird. It's a pretty funny take on living your life online.

Basically I didn't want to get up when I woke up at 9:55a because I still felt pretty beat up from helping work in my yard yesterday.

Yes, helping.

Sometime in the afternoon, my neighbors knocked on my door to let me know they were going to cut down the tree in the driveway (their yard, covers my driveway) and would I move my car.

So I did. Then I stood and chatted. Gave the number of my air conditioning guy.

Then Dayne wanted to trim one of my trees in the backyard touching the house/roof. Ok.

Then Dwayne (no, they are not related) wanted to trim the pecan tree on the wires. Ok.

As I was helping drag the limbs to the front (tomorrow is supposedly city pick-up day for large items), I slipped and fell on a slight embankment I have in my yard and landed on the sidewalk. (As I was later telling my mom the story, she expressed concern about my falling. Well, mom, it's not like I am that graceful in the first place. "Well, that's true.")

Then they trimmed the cedar tree in the front yard. Then they cleaned my gutters. Yep. That's me standing in my yard watching them and doing what I can.

While Dwayne was on the roof (yes, on the roof) trimming the cedar tree he found ~ and I am not kidding on this ~ at least a wheelbarrow of dirt (almost compost) with stuff growing out of it. So, he hoed that off. You should see some of the roots. They look like lines of potatoes. I was quite embarrassed. They kept reassuring me that it had been there long before I moved in. That I should call my realtor about the inspector because after moving the dirt, they found holes in my roof that have been covered by the dirt. *sigh*

Then Dayne felt really bad because they've given me something that might be expensive to worry about. Frankly, I just think they are pretty damn good neighbors.

While I was in Providence, I bought a bracelet at Oop! It's a plain silver cuff bracelet with P A S S I O N inscribed.

I chose passion because it's so easy to slip into ordinary life. To just live out the days without much thought. And I want to remember to live my life with passion.

On the plane, I read the September issue of O and guess what the topic was? Passion.

Passion: that surge of spirit that helps you know—and pursue—what you really want out of life.

I thought Martha Beck covered it well. Passion - How to Find Yours.

Shots and Giggles: From a man's point-of-view.

In the car this morning I figured out what it is I like about John Mayer so much. He reminds me of Dave Matthews with that husky, sexy "I just climbed out of bed" voice. Yum.

Is "Alias" turning into "The X-Files"?

Start Making Sense: you missed one Alias episode, and subsequent episodes were as inexplicable as the phrase "long-running series starring Jim Belushi".

(Lee, don't read these!)

Check this out: Alias Trading Cards. They include: Episodic Coverage, Prophesies of Rambaldi Cards, Character Cards, Power Players, embedded messages in secret ink and some heat-sensitive cards reveal secret messages and clues.

I was up bright and early this morning, but blogger didn't want to work with me.

My kitty-sitter had a golf tournament today, so we met at 7 a.m. so I could pick-up Cory. Tim is such a great guy. If he hadn't been married when we met, he would be now. : )

Cory stomped around much of the morning. I worry that she likes Tim and his kids more than me. I went out for lunch and she seems to be on speaking terms now....

This is that moment when I think, Yea! I'm home.
And then I realize, Oh. I'm home.

It's official. I am never getting married.

It just drives me cranky to be around people 24/7. I need my alone time.

Right now, the girls are out seeing some historic site and I am at the library doing this. Shortly I'll go outside because it's a gorgeous day (nothing like Boston) and sit somewhere by myself. Mind you, these are people I love and cherish dearly. But I can hardly wait to get home so I can spend two days talking to no one!!

The bed at the Biltmore was fabulous. But, apparently I still snore. Bummer. Yes, maybe it's best for me to stay single.

Hi from the Biltmore in Providence. I'll be home tomorrow. xoxo